are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
