I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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