He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
