Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
