If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
