so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
