I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
