You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
