? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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