Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?

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(708): View more from Illinois

you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box

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(586): View more from Michigan

We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine

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(616): View more from Michigan

thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.

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(678): View more from Georgia

If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.

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(281): View more from Texas

I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.

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(305): View more from Florida

Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick

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(509): View more from Washington

I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet

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