That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize