Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
