need another drink. this is the easiest way
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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