i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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