My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
