There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
