is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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