Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
