i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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