we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
