if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
