at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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