She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
