No awkward lesbian experiences without me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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