batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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