I'm sorry my penis didn't work
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
