Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize