Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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