these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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