why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
