My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
