I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
