Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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