I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
