found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
