So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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