I'm eating all of the evidence.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
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