I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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