If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
