At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize
