spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
