I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
