We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
