Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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