Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
