I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
