I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
