who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she told me i tasted like america
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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