tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
