my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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