Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
