If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
