They should really pass out barf bags in church
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How external is "for external use only"?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
