I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
