Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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