windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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