I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
