The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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