i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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