singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
