i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
