some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
