I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
babies were throwing up all over the place
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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