The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize