Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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