I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
birth control should be required to get into college
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
