pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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