some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
