Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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