How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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