I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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