I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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