Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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