Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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